Walking on edges of life
by Darkie
Summary: Used to be 'the letter'. ES. We all have to die some day. The question is how...
1. The letter

Disclaimer: How many times do I have to tell you?! I don't own them!  
  
Summary: Shalimar finds a letter in her room, one of her teammates has had enough of their life. Can Shalimar stop them from doing something irreversible?  
  
A.N.: The 'theme'-song of this "Colorblind" from the Counting Crows. I love it and think it makes this story that much sadder. Download and listen to it while reading this. Really, you should. The lyrics are printed as #...# Also, this thing is short, as in 2:27 A.M. short. ;)  
  
Title: The letter  
  
Shalimar went to her room laughing. Today was hilarious, they had a food fight during dinner and she was covered in sauce. She wasn't the worst victim though, she'd teamed up with Emma against Brennan and Jesse and they got hold of the ketchup and whipped cream. They sprayed it in the boys' pants clothes everything. So after the clean-up Shalimar went to shower and decided to get some rest.  
  
She lifted her blankets and found a folded piece of paper. She opened it, it was a letter. #I am colorblind. Coffee black and egg white.#  
  
It said:  
  
Dear Shalimar,  
  
You must be wondering what this is all about. Today was fabulous. It made me realize that I'm not worthy of your company.  
  
I wanted to tell you that I'm gonna leave you, all of you.  
  
#Pull me out from inside#  
  
I also wanted to tell you how I felt. I love you Shalimar and the thought of me never having you is unbearable. You gave your heart to someone else, but mine will always belong to you, remember that.  
  
#I am ready. I am fine#  
  
I fed up with living this way, in loneliness, so I guess this is my way of saying farewell. Don't mourn, you've given me my greatest years.  
  
Love you always,  
  
...........  
  
Shalimar knew what this meant, so she sped out of her room. "Adam! Adam!" she screamed hysterically.  
  
"Shalimar? What's wrong?" he asked concerned.  
  
"Read this and get the others!" Adam did what was asked of him.  
  
"Oh my God, we need to go NOW!" The four went to the Double Helix to save their teammate, their friend, their sibling. Shalimar knew exactly where to go. It was one of the many things she and the writer had in common, their favorite spot. The highest in the city...  
  
#I am covered in skin. No one gets to come in.#  
  
And sure enough, they saw a figure on the edge of the building, looking down, towards its death. They landed on the roof and Shalimar was the first one to get out and the only one who dared to approach the person.  
  
#Pull me out from inside. I am folded and unfolded and unfolding.#  
  
"Why are you doing this?"  
  
"Shalimar? What are you doing here? How did you..."  
  
"You once told me remember." Shalimar said with a soft smile and decided to try again "Why are you doing this?"  
  
#I am colorblind.#  
  
"You read my letter right? You love him, not me. It's.. I-I can't take this life anymore." Shalimar could see her friend was fighting the tears.  
  
"I have to do this." The person got on the ledge.  
  
"Get off of there, you hear me GET OFF!"  
  
#Coffee black and egg white#  
  
"I'm sorry Shalimar, go now, he needs you."  
  
#Pull me out from inside.#  
  
"But I need you." "Hush, you don't have to do that. It's okay..."  
  
#I am ready, I am ready, I am ready. I am fine.#  
  
"..I am ready." With that her friend jumped.  
  
"NO!!! EMMA!!!!" Shalimar screamed, without hesitation she dove of the ledge after her. One hand grabbing another ledge, the other grabbing Emma.  
  
"Shalimar, let me go. I want to."  
  
"No you don't! Besides *I* don't want you to." Shalimar looked up and saw Brennan, Jesse and Adam staring at them. "Don't just stand there! Get us out of here." And thus they returned to their Sanctuary in silence...  
  
TBC..? Probably yeah.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Totally unworthy of believe? Yeah, guess so. Oh, btw, my apologies to people who know what it's like when somebody close to you commits suicide. I don't mean to write it off like something small. If you do feel offended, again my apologies. But if you are offended by the fact that it's Emma... Well bad luck kiddo!  
  
~DarkStar~  
  
P.S. Does somebody know how to print something italicized? I just can't figure out what's up with ff.net. And a second dumb question. What the bloody hell is 'angst' I tried to look it up but I can't seem to find it. Care to explain anyone? 


	2. True emotions

Disclaimer: Yeah, well, still don't own them.  
  
A.N.: Everybody wanted a next chapter. Your wish is my command. I didn't plan it at first, so I don't think the title suits but hey... You wanted it ;)  
  
Chapter 2: True emotions  
  
They entered Sanctuary remaining silent. They guys went their own way, because they knew Shalimar and Emma had to sort things out on their own. For Brennan it was the safety of his own room, a book of poetry waiting on his table. For Jesse the computer, a long trip on the electronic highway always made him feel better. For Adam his lab, when things got difficult he always buried himself in work and study.  
  
Emma and Shalimar went to the pond. It being the most serene and soothing spot in the Sanctuary, it made the perfect place to talk. But as they got there and sat down there was not much talking. There was no talking to be exact. Just thoughts, emotions pilled up inside themselves. The reason Emma decided to do what she did in the first place. Finally it was Shalimar who broke the silence.  
  
"How could you?" she whispered fighting the tears with all she had.  
  
Emma however didn't bother, she knew it was useless anyway. "I couldn't control my powers anymore. Every time I was around you I could feel your love for him and his love for you. I couldn't deal with it anymore, I wanted it to stop, I wanted it all to stop. I felt so empty inside."  
  
"But what you chose wasn't the right thing to do."  
  
"Maybe not through your eyes Shalimar. But it was through mine. You can't even begin to imagine how I felt these last couple of months." Emma got up to leave. Shalimar took her arm and stopped her.  
  
"Then show me." her saddened eyes shattered Emma's heart.  
  
"Are you sure?" Shalimar got up, took Emma's hands in hers and looked Emma in the eyes.  
  
"Trust me, I'm sure." Emma closed her eyes and squeezed Shal's hands.  
  
Shal heard soft whispers getting louder and suddenly it felt like the room was spinning. A wave of sadness and melancholy soon followed. It literally hit her like a ton of bricks making her drop to her knees. Emma stopped the flow of emotions.  
  
"You see now?"  
  
Shalimar looked up, still shaky from what she experienced.  
  
"Emma why didn't you ever...?" "I couldn't. You two looked so happy, felt so happy. I couldn't."  
  
Shalimar got back on her feet and hugged her friend. Emma in turn holding Shalimar as though her life depended on it and in a way it did. They stood there, it felt like an eternity, a good one though.  
  
*Why does this feel so good?* Shalimar asked herself.  
  
Emma picked up Shalimar's feelings and quickly pulled away. "No, no, this isn't right. You belong with him, not me."  
  
"Emma, why are you being so harsh on yourself?"  
  
"You don't wanna know."  
  
"Yes I do. Very much."  
  
"I don't think I'm ready to tell you."  
  
Shalimar ran her fingers over Emma's cheek. "Tell me when you are." Then left to her room. Emma joined Adam in the lab.  
  
"Hey Emma." "Hey Adam." "Are you going to be all right?" "Yes, I'll be fine thank you. What are you doing?"  
  
"Checking on a new-mutant. Eckhart has his greedy little eyes set on a molecular."  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"A guy called Brad LeBeau."  
  
"What kinda powers does he have?"  
  
"He can let things explode..." Adam said with a worried face.  
  
"Explode? Moleculars can let things explode?"  
  
"Actually where as some can freeze molecules of a certain object, some can let them accelerate so much that it seems like the object explodes."  
  
"Right. So I guess you'll be needing everyone?"  
  
"Not everyone, I want you to stay here, with me."  
  
"Why?" "Emma you tried to commit suicide, that's pretty serious. I'm not gonna let you walk on the streets an hour after."  
  
"Adam, I told you I'm fine." "No Emma please, stay here. It's for your own good."  
  
Emma sighed "Fine I'll stay. But no mental pep-talk, 'cause I really don't feel like getting one." Adam nodded and called the others in.  
  
"You rang?" Brennan asked with a smile, then he saw Emma and asked her with concern: "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine."  
  
When Jesse came in he did about the same. Emma got tired of it. "Look guys, I'll be fine, now can we please stop worrying about me and start worrying about this guy."  
  
"This is Brad LeBeau, he's a molecular who can let things explode even you, so watch out and don't get on his bad side." Adam explained. Finally Shal entered the lab.  
  
"Shalimar you need to pick up a mutant with Brennan and Jesse. They'll fill you in on the way." And they left.  
  
"Emma, I do think we need to talk." "No Adam, I already told you I don't feel like it."  
  
"It's not good to pile up all your feelings inside, especially because you're a psionic."  
  
"Besides the occasional headache, I feel perfectly normal."  
  
"Maybe I should scan you for that." "If it makes you feel better."  
  
She sat on the chair and Adam scanned her. "Well, nothing here shows anything unusual, but I still wanna keep an eye on you."  
  
~An hour and a half later~  
  
Shalimar and the guys returned.  
  
"We put the guy in one of the safehouses." Shalimar reported. "Where's Emma? I need to talk to her." "Dojo, meditating." Adam said shortly.  
  
So she went to the dojo. "Emma can I talk to you?"  
  
Emma opened her eyes and took awhile before answering. "Yeah, I guess." She got up. "What's up?"  
  
"Your letter." "You wanna talk about... My letter?" "Yeah, I want you to know something." Shalimar played with her ring. "I don't love him.. like that. I love Brennan like you do, like a brother. He's always around and late at night, unlike you think, we talk." Emma opened her mouth to say something but hushed her.  
  
"We talk about you." Shalimar looked up at Emma. "We talked about my feelings for you. He understood me more than Jesse or Adam ever could. He helped his little cousin out with the same... Thing."  
  
"Shalimar what are you saying?"  
  
"I'm saying that..." Shalimar cupped Emma's and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "I love you."  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Hmhm, yup, that's right. Who'd thought? Thanks everybody for the explanations and stuff. Keep reviewing so that I know if I should keep updating this little fluffy thing. ~DarkStar~ 


	3. I spy

A.N.+ Disclaimer: I just watched the pilot episode of 'Fastlane' and I loved it. The first song I heard was 'Get Free' from The Vines. So I don't own that song, obviously The Vines do. It however gave me a great (not to mention quite *slick voice* naughty) idea. Just play it when you're reading the 'dutty' bit, feel the vibe. Coz I'm a vibe-kinda-girl. But... the trouble ain't over 'til the fat lady sings. But there are no fat ladies in Mutant X! Exactly...  
  
Chapter 3: I spy  
  
Brennan came walking up the stairs: "Hey guys, guess... Ohw, hey, so I'm thinkin' you two worked things out then?"  
  
They quickly broke the kiss. "Uh, yeah..." Shalimar smiled and she looked at her new found love "Yeah, we did."  
  
"That's great, really, I'm glad you did."  
  
"What did you want to tell us?" Emma asked.  
  
"Nothing, nothing important anyway. Not as important as this."  
  
Shalimar slipped an arm around Emma's waist. "If there's nothing important you have to tell, can you excuse us?" She smiled and dragged Emma to her room.  
  
"You girls behave now!" Brennan shouted after them. His answer was a loud giggle from both of them.  
  
"What are you plannin' Shal?" "What d'ya think?" She took Emma by her collar and yanked her inside her room.  
  
#I'm gonna get free, I'm gonna get free, I'm gonna get free. Ride into the sun.#  
  
Emma slammed the door shut with her foot. Getting rammed into it the second after by Shalimar.  
  
#She never loved me, she never loved me, she never loved me. Why should anyone?#  
  
Quickly moving down, leaving kisses behind, Shalimar undid Emma's shirt. Hands traveling everywhere. She stopped at Emma's abdomen.  
  
#Come here, come here, come here. I'll take a photo for you.#  
  
She went back up again, bringing Emma's arms with her, pinning them above Emma's head.  
  
#Come here, come here, come here. Drive you around the corner.#  
  
The pace was fast. They wanted each other more than anything.  
  
#Come here, come here, come here. You know you really oughtta.#  
  
It was time for Emma to make her move. She took Shalimar's waist and pushed her onto the bed.  
  
#Come here, come here, come here. Move outta California.#  
  
Emma sat on top, straddled her and didn't even try to unbutton the shirt she just ripped it open. "Uh-oh, Bren's gonna be pissed. That was his shirt." Shal smiled. "I'll just make him forget all about it." Emma smiled back.  
  
#Get (Get), me (me), from (from), here (here).#  
  
Emma leaned down to kiss Shalimar. Breathlessly, Shalimar pushed Emma back up. "I-I've been.. waiting so l-long for... This." She panted.  
  
Flashback Emma  
  
A blonde girl is laying under her. Like Shalimar she pants that she's been waiting for this.  
  
Flashback end  
  
Emma's eyes shot open, that flashback snapped her back to reality. "NO!" she said out loud. She got off of Shalimar and sat down on the edge of the bed, burying her face in her hands.  
  
Shocked by the lack of weight and touch, Shalimar opened her eyes. When she saw Emma sobbing, she knew something was up.  
  
"Emma, what's wrong?" "Nothing, it's just..." Shalimar put her hand her shoulder and turned Emma around to face her. "You can tell me."  
  
Flashback/ Emma explaining  
  
"When I was about 16. I brought my first girlfriend home. Her name was Cyane Mornay. My foster parents firmly believed in God. I didn't tell them I was gay, or at least struggling with the thought. We were fooling around when Gary, my so called father, caught us. He was mad, first he send Cyane home, then we had a talk. He told me that being gay was wrong and against the laws of God. He made me suppress my feelings for other girls. Telling me if I ever did it again, he would've no choice but to punish me. I was forced to deny a piece of myself Shalimar."  
  
"Did you ever...?"  
  
"Do it again? Yeah I did. My parents weren't home and I brought Cyane again. She kept saying we should just do it. So we went up to my room and well did it..."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"My father came home early and went upstairs, to my room. We were so.. busy, we didn't hear him. He opened the door, saw us and dragged me out of bed. Cyane tried to help but he knocked her unconscious. When he turned around his eyes... His eyes, you could almost see the fire. I was scared beyond believe." Emma started to cry.  
  
Shalimar had to hear no more. "Ohw Emma, I didn't know." She hugged her, letting her cry on her shoulder.  
  
~A few days later~  
  
Emma and Shalimar went to the safehouses to give Brad his new ID.  
  
"Thank Adam for me will ya. If it wasn't for him the GSA would have me for sure."  
  
"That's why were here." Emma said.  
  
"Steve here will be your guide through the underground. He'll explain everything so you can live a happy little life." Shalimar said smiling, introducing the big psionic.  
  
"Yup, just come with me and you'll be fine." The giant smiled.  
  
"Okay, well, thanks again for helping me. See you 'round." They watched Brad and Steve leave. The safehouse was empty and it gave Shalimar an idea.  
  
"So you wanna..." She asked wriggling her eyebrows.  
  
"What, here?!" Emma said, completely taken by surprise.  
  
"Why not? It's not like anyone's around."  
  
"Shalimar, I'm not sure. What about the c..." before she could finish the sentence, Shalimar pulled Emma into a deep kiss. They didn't know....  
  
~At Sanctuary~  
  
Brennan was sitting in his room reading again when his door flew open. "Brennan you GOTTA see this!" Jesse said excited and out of breath.  
  
Brennan flew out of his chair: "What? What happened?!"  
  
But Jesse was already running to his computer. Brennan followed him. "Please tell me the girls all right, Jess!"  
  
"Oh the girls are FINE Brennan, just fine." He stopped in front of the computer.  
  
"Is THAT what you came to show me? Security-footage of a safehouse with this Brad guy leaving. How EXCITING. Say you're not running hot for him are ya?"  
  
"No you perv! I meant this." And Jesse switched to live-stream.  
  
"Still don't see a thing." Brennan was getting impatient.  
  
Jesse turned up the volume so you could hear what was said. All Brennan could hear was things falling on the floor and some crashes. He began to panic.  
  
"Jesse what the hell is going..." Then he heard loud moans.  
  
Jesse smiled: "Now observe." And he turned the camera to the sound.  
  
"OH MY GOD!" Brennan yelled. "Emma and Shalimar?! Having.. Doing.. Making. I-In a... with the cam... OH MY GOD!"  
  
"Easy Brennan, easy. Think about your blood-pressure. Breath in, breath out." Jesse tried to calm him down.  
  
After cooling down and having his breath under control, Brennan looked at Jesse. "Who's the perv NOW?!" Then smiled and quickly added: "You tape this, I'm gonna go get another chair." And he ran off.  
  
~At the safehouse~  
  
"You sure you wanna do this?" Shalimar asked.  
  
"I'm sure just don't stop."  
  
So Shalimar didn't. She also didn't know that Emma was fighting the flashes as she got closer to her climax. Emma was determined not to show it. Not that she had a chance of really focusing on the images in her head, because Shalimar was SO skilled with her hands.  
  
"Shalimar you really are an animal!"  
  
And Shal enjoyed that. This was one of the benefits of being a feral. All Ferals, especially feral felines, were know to be good... mates.  
  
Emma screamed as she reached her climax. Screamed with both pain and joy. Pain of her memories and joy of what just happened to her.  
  
Shalimar opened her eyes to see her exhausted lover, catching something moving in the corner of her eyes. Did that just...  
  
"Emma?" Shal asked carefully.  
  
"Hm?" Emma replied still recovering.  
  
"Why is that camera moving?"  
  
"Cam.. What camera?"  
  
"That one in the corner."  
  
They looked at each other with dilated eyes.  
  
"Think they saw us?"  
  
"Let's hope not." But somewhere they knew they were busted.  
  
"Let's get back and find out."  
  
~Back at Sanctuary~  
  
The two girls entered, pretending nothing happened. Brennan greeted them.  
  
"Hey, how did it go?"  
  
"FINE!" They both replied.  
  
"There you two are!" Jesse approached "I assume everything went... Smooth." He dragged that last word out seductively.  
  
"Yes, everything went smooth. Yes sir, you bet!" Shalimar said, trying to hide the fact that she was going to blush.  
  
"Good, good." Brennan nodded "You two are good animals." Jesse, who was trying to remain serious, was almost rolling on the ground.  
  
"HAHAHAHA!!!! You can get a cookie now! HAHAHAHAHA!!"  
  
Brennan too lost his self-control, hearing Jesse's comment.  
  
"You think they know?" Shalimar asked Emma.  
  
"Yeah, I think they do."  
  
"Well I'm going to my room and feel embarrassed for a week or two."  
  
"I'm going to go Adam. I need to talk to him."  
  
The girl split up, leaving the guys laughing in Sanctuary.  
  
Emma entered the lab.  
  
"Adam, could you run a scan again. Those flashes are getting stronger and so are the headaches."  
  
"Sure, but I think I'm gonna run more than one. Just to make sure."  
  
"Yeah go ahead."  
  
After five scans Adam was done.  
  
"You can go to Shal, I'll let you know when I have the results."  
  
"I'll do just that."  
  
Emma went to Shalimar's room and found Shal pacing back and forth through it.  
  
"Honey, why are you acting so nervous?" Emma asked with concern.  
  
"I've been thinking, about us and how to break this to you..."  
  
"Break what to me? What are you talking about?"  
  
Then suddenly, Shal got on one knee, pulled a box from her pocket and looked up. She opened the box and it revealed a ring. "Will you marry me?"  
  
TBC...  
  
~~~~~  
  
How THAT for a cliffy? The next chapter is going to be rather short 'cause I didn't ruin the fun in this chapter. Just so you know. ~DS~ 


	4. Diagnosis

A.N.: As I said, this is going to be a short one. I didn't wanna ruin the fun in the last chapter and I really wanted the issue up next to have it's own chapter.  
  
Chapter 4: Diagnosis.  
  
Emma began to shed tears of joy, but before she could answer Adam's urgent voice sounded through the comm-link.  
  
"Emma! Shalimar! I need you here now. I've got something to tell you."  
  
"Adam we're in the middle of something, can't it wait?!" Shalimar asked annoyed.  
  
"No, you two need to hear this now!"  
  
Shalimar sighed. "Adam does know how to time things, doesn't he?"  
  
"Well, he does sound urgent. We should go." So they went to the lab.  
  
"What's up Adam?" "You'd better sit down for this. Both of you."  
  
"Come on Adam, I was proposing to her."  
  
Adam was shocked that he interrupted such a thing and he knew that it was going to make the news even worse.  
  
"I don't know how I can bring you this in the easiest way. So I think I'll just tell it. Emma, those headaches and visions of yours... They're a result of a...."  
  
Shalimar couldn't hear what was said, she was in total shock.  
  
"It seems that your brain can't handle your powers anymore. It's a known problem with psionics. There's no cure."  
  
"You can't be serious Adam! There must be SOMETHING you can do!" Shalimar shouted, grabbing Adam by his arms.  
  
"I'm sorry Shalimar."  
  
"No, you don't understand. There IS a cure and I'm gonna find it!" she walked towards the exit.  
  
"Shalimar! Shalimar, get back here!" Adam shouted, stopping Shalimar in her tracks.  
  
"Shalimar, please stay. There's just one thing I wanna know." Emma spoke. She looked at Adam.  
  
But Shalimar didn't wanna hear it, so she ran away. The dojo was the best place to come to terms with this.  
  
Adam hugged Emma knowing this was though, but she was strong enough to deal with it. He was worried that Shalimar wasn't. When they let go of each other, she'd left. Emma found her fighting virtual agents in the dojo. Tears running down her cheeks. Knocking the one after the other agent out. Emma turned the simulation off.  
  
Shalimar quickly recovered and Emma approached her.  
  
"I'm telling the guys and I want you to be there too." Shalimar hesitated, then nodded and followed Emma to the lab.  
  
Brennan and Jesse were already waiting. Brennan was about to make some lame joke but refrained from doing so the minute he saw Shalimar's eyes, clouded with tears.  
  
"What's wrong with you Shalimar?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing's wrong with me, it's Emma you should worry about." Both Jesse and Brennan looked at Emma with a questioning look on their faces.  
  
"Guys, Adam said that I.. I have a mutated brain tumor. I only have about a month or so to live."  
  
And once again the group was silent.  
  
TBC  
  
~~~~~  
  
Told you this was gonna be a short one! Now you know why. Just keep reviewing you guys/gals! The 'big' ~DS~ 


	5. My old enemy

A.N.: Tada! I'm back, sorry for the delay. I've moved and lost my internet- connection up till now. So yeah, I saw a view new reviews and I bought the DareDevil soundtrack along with Coldplay's new cd, all inspired me to continue this story. So here it is you hungry puppies! O yeah and since you asked (or rather begged) for me to not kill off Emma... I feel your pain my friends but you'll have to see. I'm not making promises, I'm just gonna go where my (twisted) mind takes me.  
  
Chapter 5:  
  
Jesse felt like an arrow shot him through his heart. This couldn't be happening. This isn't real. She's fine, Emma is fine. But deep down he knew the truth. He had been seeing the changes in her. This was terrible. Poor Emma... and Shalimar. She wouldn't be able to cope with this kinda of loss again. She'd been through it before and barely came out of it alive. He needed to look after his dear friend, like a good brother would.  
  
After hugs and loving words were said, Shalimar mumbled she had to go again. She had to be on her own, like she was for so many years. She had to wash away her worries, drown the returning fears. She went to the fridge, grabbed the fullest bottle in sight and planned to go outside. To stare at the stars and the calming water. Listening to the silence that formed a blanket of peace for her. But first she had to make a stop in her room to get one thing. She hid it in her drawer since.... the last bad thing had happened to her. She got it and turned around, only to find Jesse in her doorway.  
  
"Shalimar..."  
  
"Jesse, I need to be alone."  
  
"Not with that thing you don't."  
  
"Jesse, I need to be alone." She repeated, stronger, with more force this time.  
  
"Shal, remember I've seen you like this before and I made a promise then. I promised you I wouldn't let it happen to you, ever... And I keep my promises. Now give me the knife."  
  
"Why can't you just leave me ALONE?!" She practically growled the last word.  
  
"Just give me the knife." "NO!" "Shalimar give it! You're gonna hurt yourself!" Jesse was now approaching her and reaching for her wrists.  
  
"Jesse leave me alone!!!!" She tried her best to fight him off but it was useless. He grabbed her wrist, then her knife and threw it on the bed. Then he roughly grabbed her by her arms, forcing her to look at him. He was crying.  
  
"Shalimar, please. I can't stand to see you like this. You two will work things out. Just don't do anything stupid.... not again." Shalimar broke down into tears as she remembered what happened in the past. It felt like her legs were swept from under her and she fell to the ground, Jesse still holding on to her. They both were kneeled on the floor. Shalimar dropped the bottle and Jesse hugged her as if he'd never let go.  
  
"I love you Shal. I love you too much to see you in pain. I'll protect you and I'll always be here for you. Always, you here me?" He held her even closer. They cried each other to sleep.  
  
*The next morning*  
  
Shalimar woke up in her bed. Jesse must have woken up and tucked her in. Everything was such a blur and she prayed yesterday was just a bad dream. When Emma entered her room she knew it wasn't. She jumped up and hugged her. Emma was overwhelmed by the utter love her feral had for her.  
  
"Shal... are you okay? Jesse told me you..."  
  
"I'm fine." Shal cut her off. "Well not fine, obviously, but... I dunno." She sighed with frustration. Why? Why was her perfect world wrecked?  
  
Emma could easily feel the internal battle Shalimar was fighting. She cupped Shal's face and stared her in the eyes. "Hey, listen, I'm not gone yet okay, so lets not think about that for awhile. I just want us to be together." When she saw no change in her lover she tried to calm her. "Adam says that there's a chance he'll find a cure..."  
  
A spark of hope ignited in beautiful hazel eyes. "He will find something Shal, I know he will." Emma pulled closer and kissed Shal. Suddenly the blonde broke away.  
  
"Shal? What's wrong honey?" "I might have found a cure..." "What? What are you talking about?" "Wait here, I need to see Adam." And Shal ran off to the lab, leaving Emma clue-less.  
  
"ADAM! ADAM!" Shalimar barged into the lab. Fearing the worst Adam immediately dropped his work and turned around. "What is it Shalimar?" "I might have found a cure for Emma's disease..." After explaining what she had in mind she wanted to get to it as fast as she could, but she was stopped by Adam.  
  
"I hope you realize just how dangerous this is. You know you're no longer welcome there." "I have to try, if I don't I might lose the one bright thing in my life."  
  
She walked out of the lab, holding a steady pace. She got her jacket and her helmet. She would be faster by motorcycle than by car and this couldn't wait. She jumped on her bike and sped off to what might be Emma's only savior. She wanted Emma to live, even it meant she had to die...  
  
15 minutes later she pulled over at an old building. A sprayed said 'Dark Rebel Palace'. She walked to the door and tried to pull it open. It was locked. She tried to kick it down but to no avail. "Figures... CRES! CRES! I need to talk to you, let me in!"  
  
***Inside***  
  
"Cres, the feral's at our frontdoor." A guy with bleached hair announced. "I know. Tell the moleculars to let her in." "Are you sure?"  
  
"Are you questioning me Race?"  
  
"No it's just..." "Do it." The girl said in a calm but strong tone.  
  
***Outside***  
  
Shalimar was screaming things in the air and at the security cam that hung above the door. "DAMN IT CRESCENDO LET ME IN!!!"  
  
Finally two moleculars phased through the door, grabbed Shalimar and phased her in. Inside Shalimar yanked out of their grip. "Where is she?!" "Come with us." "I'll find her myself!" Race approached holding up a fire ball. "I think it's in everybody's interest if you come along quietly." Shalimar stared at the ball and finally agreed. "Fine."  
  
Race walked up front, Shalimar in the middle and the two nameless moleculars behind her. They stopped in front of a door which Race opened. He let her enter and signaled the others to go back to their posts.  
  
"Shalimar..." "Crescendo..." "To what do I owe the honor?" "It's about Emma. She dying." "She's dying?" Cres paused, touching her chin lightly and then continued in an emotionless tone "How pathetic." Shalimar prepared to jump on her, forgetting about Cres' telekinetic powers, which held her back. "Shalimar, Shalimar... Did I piss you off?"  
  
"Stop it you heartless bitch!" Shal barked, flashing her eyes. Cres held her hands up in mock mercy. "Please, oh great Shalimar... please don't hurt me." Then bursted out in a fit of laughter. Shal growled in response. "Oh come on. Don't you have a sense of humor anymore?" Receiving no answer Cres turned to Race. "Would you mind leaving us alone?" "But Cres she's..." "You know what Race, I'm sick of you doubting my decisions. If she wants to kill me, fine. If she doesn't, even better. Now go!" "Fine. But I'll be right outside." "Just because I'm short doesn't mean I can't look after my own ass." Race walked out of the room.  
  
"Alone at last." Cres released Shalimar from her telekinetic grip. As soon as Shal felt she could move on her own she grabbed Cres by her throat and forced her to look at her. "I'm not here to play games Cres. Emma is sick and I KNOW you can cure her." "My god, the hostility! Why should I help you anyway?!" "You owe us that!" "OWE YOU?! That's a good one!" Cres broke out of Shal's grip. "I don't owe you shit!" Shal became furious and hit Cres in the face. Cres pressed the back of her index-finger to her bleeding nose and looked at her attacker.  
  
"You killed my love, why should I help you save yours?"  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
Yeah okay, so you're confused right now... Thing is, I'm writing two stories and decided this one could mingle with one of my others so here it is. Btw, I went to the MX site today and saw the September wallpaper.. Then it hit me, Emma's really gone. God, it's so sad. We'll always keep you in our hearts Em! 


	6. My beloved past

A.N.: Okay since I kinda confused a few of you, I'll try clearing at least something up in this chapter. Without further ado, I present to you. chapter 6!  
  
Chapter 6: My beloved past  
  
Shalimar couldn't believe her ears. Cres still thought they were responsible for Chip's death...  
  
*Flashback*  
  
"No Brennan! Don't shoot!" Shalimar shouted. The next thing they saw was a bright light. An invisible force scattered them across the room. When they'd recovered they saw that one girl didn't... And Cres was holding her, tears in her deep brown eyes.  
  
*Flashback end*  
  
"It was an accident, Brennan didn't mean to..." "Oh please Shalimar!" Cres snapped in frustration. "He KNEW what Jason could do, he KNEW. And now because of him, because of all of you... I feel nothing but the blinding pain." She was holding back tears, suppressing pains, Shalimar could tell.  
  
"Then you of all people should know what we're going through, what I'm going through. Please, you're the only one who can help." Cres stared at a picture on her desk. A picture of two young and seemingly happy girls, holding each other, smiling at the one taking the picture.  
  
"Life was perfect you know. Perfect until YOU came crashing into it. Perfect until YOU betrayed us all. Perfect until YOU killed her." The girl picked up the picture. "Race!" she shouted for the Elemental. Who came barging in, already playing with a ball of fire in his hands. "Trouble?" he smiled, his eyes glistering with hope. "No, no trouble. Kindly escort Ms. Fox out of the building." Race sighed in disappointment. "Fine, come with me." He whistled for the two Moleculars.  
  
"You know what..." Cres started "I'll come and wave ya goodbye. After all, I loved the social call." She took the picture and followed the three men and Shalimar. "You can't do this Cres! Please, Emma's dying. We need you!" Finally the arrived at the doors. "You think Chip would've want you to be like this?" Shalimar tried in a last desperate attempt. Apparently it pissed Cres off for her eyes flashed golden. "Don't EVER come here again!" She replied in a low voice.  
  
The two Moleculars phased the door and with a wave off Cres' hand, Shalimar was thrown through it. Locked outside and empty handed. Inside, a single tear ran down Cres' emotionless face, landing perfectly on the frame she was holding. The glass breaking under the sheer weight of love which the tear held.  
  
Shalimar just stood there in the parking lot. Lost, desperate, without hope... Cres was the only one she could think of who could cure Emma. She wanted to hate Cres as she hated her, but she couldn't. Now there was nothing left to fall back on. She was going to lose Emma and the pain started to dawn on her. She watched the sun set, got on her motorcycle and rode back home...  
  
Shal entered Sanctuary completely silent. Not uttering a word to anyone. Heading straight for her room. She felt like trashing the place, throwing things around, ripping it apart, but at the same time she didn't have the strength to. All these years as a feral she'd never felt anything like this before. Her light was being put out and there was jack shit she could do about it. She felt completely helpless, which was unnatural to any feral. She didn't even felt this helpless when her dad kicked her into mental hospital. Slowly and alone she began to fear the days after Emma's death. Flashes of the burial, everybody wearing black, the coffin being lowered into the ground and finally the tomb-stone... And a decision was made. If Emma died, so did she...  
  
***Dark Rebel Palace***  
  
"You know what this means, don't you Cres?" Cres responded by raising an eyebrow. "Mutant X is vulnerable! We can attack them and take our revenge!" Race's eyes were glowing with excitement but the girl simply shook her head.  
  
"This is not gonna be that easy Race, especially now. Shalimar will do ANYTHING to protect Emma."  
  
"That's right, she'll put her own life on the line to save her. I can burn her pretty blonde head right off." Race grinned.  
  
Cres' eyes flashed at the elemental. "If you lay but a finger on Shalimar I will rip you apart myself!"  
  
"Well, well. Am I detecting a soft spot there Cres..." He laughed "I know you like her. I can tell. She stirred something in you, something you thought you'd suppressed."  
  
"What are you? Psionic?" Race simply laughed and Cres looked at him, disbelieve showing in her eyes.  
  
"Oh what? You thought you were the only special one here? She touched you with that Chip-speech in the hallway..." The short girl stirred and faster than the cocky elemental had realized a strong hand cut off his air-supply.  
  
"You know what Race, I can take them on WITHOUT you as easily as I can with you. You don't make a difference. So if you don't like it here, I suggest you piss off. But since you're in my face right now I take it you don't want that. So IF you play, you play by MY rules. GOT IT?!"  
  
"Aye, aye captain." He laughed. Cres loosened her grip... Then clogged him in the eye. "And another thing. If I ever hear the name Chip coming out of your mouth again..." Cres stared deep into Race's eyes and he grew pale as he saw images in her mind that terrified even him. Cres turned and to leave the room.  
  
"Hey where are you going?!" He yelled. "I need to take care of something. Have the Heirs round up downstairs by the time I get back."  
  
Cres walked through the corridors of Black Rebel Palace until she met the two moleculars. "Phase me through." "Yes ma'am."  
  
She got into her car and drove off, to the spot she always went to when she didn't know what to do.  
  
***Sanctuary***  
  
A knock sounded on Shalimar's door. Before she could respond it was pushed open. "Shal?" She'd already heard Brennan coming a mile away. "Shal you okay?"  
  
"Go away Bren, I need to be alone." He shook his head and closed the door. "Where have you been?"  
  
"To Cres..." "WHAT?! Shal you could've been killed." "What do I care. It was our last hope..."  
  
"You should've told me! I would've come with you!" "And then what?" "I would've made her help us!"  
  
"Or else fried her? Like you did with Jason?! YOU'RE the fuckin' reason why she doesn't want to help us in the first place!" "What?!" "Or did you forget you killed Chip as well?! Now GET OUT!!!"  
  
***With Cres***  
  
She parked her car in a space near the entrance and got out. She inhaled deeply. The air thick with the rank smell of death, she as a feral could easily pick up. She walked through the gate, into the graveyard.  
  
Taking her time, she shuffled to the Chip's grave. When she finally reached it she glanced over the tombstone. She saw it so many times, that she knew it by heart. The harsh words 'here lays...' often were too much for her.  
  
"Hey angel face..." She whispered. "It's me." She paused, not sure what to say next.  
  
"Shalimar visited me today. Emma's dying. I know how much you liked her. I'll never forget that spark in your eyes..." This time the pause was to gather herself. "But I have to be strong. For the Heirs, for me... and especially for you. They killed you. They took you away from me." She kneeled down next to the grave and closed her eyes. Images of Chip dying in her arms filling her mind.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
She knew what Brennan's plan was. She'd strongly advised against it. They didn't know what would happen to Jason if he tried to overload him. But Brennan had been stubborn.  
  
She saw what happened. Him charging up, Shalimar shouting, the blast hitting Jason, the white ball of energy.  
  
She heard what happened. The crackling of his sparks, Shal's feral growl, Jason's shout, her name being called, racing footsteps.  
  
She felt what happened. The heat of the whole situation but most importantly... She felt herself being shoved out of the way, seconds later the blast blew her even further.  
  
Right then and there she heard the most horrible sound ever. Chip.  
  
She opened her heavy eyelids, gathered herself and quickly started looking for the psionic. "Chip? Chip where are you?" She sat up and looked around. Suddenly she saw Chip, just laying there, not moving. Cres crawled over.  
  
"Chip wake up. Come on angel face..." Chip slowly opened her eyes.  
  
"Cres? Are you...okay?" "I'm fine... Why did you..." "Is Jason dead?" "Yes he is. Now why did you push me back?!" "You...almost got...fried."  
  
"Chip hold on, please, just hold on." "I can't Cres, I'm sorry..." "No! You stay with me now, you hear me Chip?! Stay with me, I need you!" "I'm sorry Cres... I love you.." With that her eyes rolled back and she let out a final sigh. "NNOOOOO!!!" The last bit sounded more like a loud growl than a word.  
  
She looked at Mutant X... "Get out! All of you! I swear if I EVER see one of you again... I'LL KILL YOU!!!"  
  
*Flashback end*  
  
"I love you Chip. I know what to do now..." And she left.  
  
***Dark Rebel Palace***  
  
Cres was phased back inside the building. Race met her at the other side of the wall. "They're waiting..." He grinned.  
  
"Tell them I have good news... Tell them that tonight we'll take our revenge, tonight... Mutant X will pay!" Cres' eyes flashed with fury.  
  
To be continued...  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
I hope that this explains a bit of what happened and that everything makes a bit more sense. I had to focus this chap on Cres to do so. I promise that the next we'll get back to our good ole team. The next chap is after all... The final and big clash of the titans!!! Suspense, suspense, suspense... mwahahahahaha! 


End file.
